Monday, May 26, 2008
I'm back.. I had to undergo several failed attempts to get my password right.
Today's the 27th. A day before my 17th birthday and exactly 2 years after you were brought to the hospital.
A lot has happened in those 2 years. I went through tough shit. Especially at the start of my second year in high school. I can't believe I got through it without actually trying to commit suicide. I can remember those moments quite vividly.. How I cried every night before going to sleep, waking up to a fight between me and dad almost everyday, intentionally being late for class, and going home to have another argument with your husband. I can't remember what we were always fighting about. But I can remember I was really fucking mad at him for it.
Good thing sis was home. She made sure that I was still thinking straight despite the emotional trouble I know she's also going through. It was then that I truly valued her being there. We grew closer. While me and dad were slowly drifting apart. But she had to go to UAE to pursue her career.
Kuya also became nicer to me. He grew out of his immature self and started acting like the grown-up he's supposed to be. He's got his own family now and I am proud of him for taking on the responsibility for his child.
Dad secretly has his girlfriend now. I don't know what the fuck he is thinking about dropping hints that he has one. He even had the nerve to bring his fucking mistress (and her children) to my niece's baptism. He told us she was her "business partner". Yeah fucking right.
He has also been out everyday. Well, except for the rare Wednesdays or Sundays when he's at home.
During these 2 years I have become independent. And I mean really independent. That happens when you live in a house where your father's always out and with a brother and his girlfriend working the graveyard shifts.
I can't help think what would it be like if you didn't leave us. You must have been working now. I remember you were supposed to go back to your nursing job so we could move out of the country. You were spoiling me. And I didn't even thank you for everything you have done. You have tolerated my selfishness until the end and I am sorry for it.
I hope you'll visit me in my dreams some time. I want to hug you tight. I hope you're happy with cho, your dad and uncle bong up there in heaven. I really miss you so, so fucking much. I love you mom. Wait for us to get there.
Labels: I
Posted By x at 10:07 AM
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
HTTP://MCRMYPH.COM
i'm moving to mcrmyph.com
bye blogger!!
Posted By x at 1:29 AM
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Friday, December 15, 2006
Fuck yeah?..
Blogger's gone BETA~ :]]]]
If anyone's still reading this..
Pleeaase
cliick heereeee and sign. Please.
And just sign the fucking petition that I'm shoving at your faces.. The one with teh little boxes I'm passing around school and anywhere else possible.
Thank You.
Also, try to visit
The MCRmy Philippines MySpace page and the
MCRmy SEAsia project sitePosted By x at 8:36 AM
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Thursday, November 02, 2006
MCR ALBUM LAAUUUNCH
WOOOOOOOOOOT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
FREE BEERS IN A CASKET!!
Had the chance to 'rawk' out [ AND ANNOY EVERYONE AROUND ME LOLOLOL ] and scream the lyrics to Welcome To The Black Parade performed by Chicosci.
After that song I left the front row to lounge at the couches.
Didn't get a free shirt because I purchased the album earlier and because the host was a bi.. uh.. bias? [lol, lame save.]
..And my camera broke so I wasn't able to document the event.
Posted By x at 12:23 AM
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Sunday, July 02, 2006
11:25 PM. Si Protein Shake guitarist dude pumunta dito. LOLOLOL. Pinlay niya yung guitar dito. Wahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa. Naniniwala na ko sa kuya ko na ka-poker niya yun. Buwahahah Buwahahaha. Matindi. All black pare. Complete with the studded belt.
Buwahahah Buwahahahahaa
Posted By x at 8:29 AM
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Saturday, June 10, 2006
Life is making me go all emo. Hatehatehate @ life.
Posted By x at 6:08 AM
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
She's brain dead.
My sister isn't going back to work. My dad and her are going to be my "mom" for the rest of my life.
June 6, 2006. I hope the world ends on that date. If I was given the chance, I'll commit suicide right now. But my mom will be disappointed.
I am sick of crying.
Posted By x at 7:05 AM
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Sunday, May 28, 2006
My sister's coming back from Nevada on the
31st 30th. My dad told me that he's probably going to stop the business because of debts. My brother is going to resign from his work. School is coming up. I'm helpless without my mother.
The right side of her body is completely paralysed. The doctors said that surgery won't do any good. They will be just cracking her head open and removing the clotted blood. Then she won't be able to speak.
I spent my birthday at home and at the hospital.
I'm only 15 and still immature. I'm not ready for this. My brother told me to fix myself up. How am I supposed to do that when you know that you're going to be a wreck for the rest of your life?
Aren't I a lucky bastard?
Posted By x at 3:42 AM
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Saturday, May 27, 2006
My mom is on a comatose. On the day right before my birthday. May 27 2006. I couldn't even touch her on her hospital bed. She's already supported by machines. I don't want this life anymore! This kind of shit isn't supposed to happen in real life!!!!!!!!
That post I made earlier. The one when I was talking about death. I think I was foreshadowing at that moment. Only that it wasn't me who's going to the hospital.
I am agnostic. Should I believe that there is a god now?
Posted By x at 1:27 AM
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Thursday, May 25, 2006
Yayz
Got an email from my sister. It was something like "Happy Birthday! XPH-234223425436534242342.. gift for you.."
I was like 0__o. Fine, give me numbers and letters for my goddamned birthday. Then I showed my dad the email. It turns out that the numbers were the code you'll enter.. somewhere.. to get money. Yeah.
MoneeeeyI guess I'm still going out tomorrow! MY SISTER PWNZ YOU AT.. EVERYTHING!
**GUESS WHO'S COMING TO STA.LUCIA GRAND MALL ON THE 27TH?! Posted By x at 9:04 AM
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